Broken dreams – Don’t let porn addiction or sexual sin derail your life

In this article, written particularly for men, one of our guest contributors shares his thoughts on the connection between broken dreams and whatever is going on in our lives that separates us from God.

Women suffer from broken dreams too, so will also benefit from the insight this post brings to ensure you don’t become derailed like a train that has come off its tracks. Only by being grounded in God’s Word and actively choosing to walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh can we stay on track with God and on track with our God-given visions and dreams.

broken dreams

God wants us to be creative, He has created us to be fruitful and to multiply. He wants us to have visions and dreams that will carry full term and be birthed. However, they all start as tiny seeds or embryos that must be protected and nurtured, kept far away from harmful influences.

Embryonic visions and dreams face many challenges and sadly some will not reach maturity were it not for God’s grace in our lives to help us get back on track. We need to know that visions and dreams can miscarry for any number of reasons, not least of which is that we derail them ourselves.

Sin separates us from God and causes us to malfunction. It stops us from reaching our full potential. Yes, we serve a Merciful Father full of compassion for His Children, but He is also the Holy God who challenges us to be holy as He is holy.

Don’t let sin cause broken dreams

Sin or the resultant separation from God, is often what causes miscarriages of visions and dreams. It makes us feel guilty ashamed and disconnected, unable to function correctly as a believer. It makes one become defensive, impatient and react in the flesh rather than in the spirit. Relationships with others are negatively affected and even lost. You withdraw rather than engage or overreact and cause arguments. You miscommunicate and derail projects. This is what causes goalposts to shift and disillusionment to creep in. 

Sin makes us feel overwhelmed. It fosters faulty thinking that causes us to give up on our own projects. This is especially evident when one is caught up in a life-controlling issue, for example porn addiction. However, an addiction of any kind will cause you to be inward-thinking, focused on yourself at the exclusion of others, selfish, and lacking in generosity and patience with others.

Pornography is commonplace in today’s society and it is such a thief. We know that the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy and porn addiction and masturbation are some of the traps he uses to derail all that is precious in our lives.

This may have already happened to you. One moment you think a project is going very well. Then all of a sudden, it becomes unhinged. Before you know it a vision is terminated and you try and come up with every reason you can to justify why you are left with broken dreams. You blame God and you get upset because the goalposts have shifted and you’ve been left disappointed, upset, and hopeless.

You may literally experience the emotions of a woman who has lost a child. Of course, there’s nothing worse than losing one of your children and that could be for any number of reasons including miscarriage, abortion stillbirth etc The metaphor of pregnancy and birth really does apply to visions and dreams, especially when it comes to fulfilling God’s calling on your life.

You may think that if God has called you to do something, then nothing can stop it, but that’s not true. You can stop it because we all have a choice. We need to be humble and in tune with God to see His plans come to fruition.

Addiction flourishes when there is pride. We feel we deserve this outlet or comfort food and we try and block out all the voices that disagree with us. Like all sin, pornography and masturbation is in effect idolatry. People who engage in it worship the flesh, putting people on platforms where bodies are glorified.

This is nothing new. It is something that happened in Ancient Rome. This is why Paul in his letter to the Romans describes how that they gave up the worship of God to worship created beings. When we are idolatrous, we lose our dedication to embrace God’s Will. Humility goes out the window. Pride comes in and this causes us to derail. We all know that pride comes before a fall.

The challenge that God gives us today is to see the devastation that our sin or addiction has caused us, our family, our friends, our professional relationships and also our career path, especially when it comes to any kind of Christian ministry. By God’s grace some of us may have been successful to some degree, despite our sin, yet can you imagine how much more we could accomplish if we were walking in our full potential in God and embracing His call to holiness.

Sin causes many many weeds to rise up in our lives that will choke the good seeds we have sown. Fortunately, there is a remedy, repentance is the weedkiller that exterminates those weeds.

It is true that God formed us in our mother’s womb and has given us a unique personality and our own calling. Whether we fulfil that calling by being faithful to God, by worshipping Him and not idols determines our future success in life and ministry.

Masturbation is a sin because it destroys the intimacy in our relationship with our spouse, family etc and makes us inward-focussed and selfish instead of outward-focused and loving. The late Dr Ed Cole used to say, “Lust always wants to get while love always wants to give.”

We need to repent of this and look to God the Creator, not the creation and when we do that, we will start walking in humility once again. Being humble is a place of being fully reliant on God, trusting Him every step of the way. And even when the path ahead seems fraught with difficulties and the goalposts have shifted and we feel disappointed, we can still trust God and we walk in faith

When we surrender to God, we start believing that the embryonic dream that we have in our heart will continue to grow and not be short-lived or short-changed. When we draw close to Him, sin has to flee, along with our stupidity and discoloured thinking because of lust. (James 4:7)

Imagine if we knew about all the amazing projects and callings, visions and dreams that have come to nothing. It would be staggering and that is not what God wants for you. So what is the answer? Is there any hope? Yes, there is hope in Jesus, there is mercy for all who repent. There is light ahead for those who want to be reconciled and who are committed to rebuild, as Repairers of the Breach.

But, please don’t belittle the impact that addictions like pornography can have on your family, relationships, career, your life calling. It is a very serious condition, like cancer, that will derail your life and without God’s intervention you will end up as a train wreck.

Matthew says “they that overcome to the end will be saved”. Do not let the enemy kill, steal and destroy your visions and dreams through any addiction. Overcome addiction through faith in God. Realise that Jesus is the healer and just like He can heal flu or other physical conditions, He can also heal sinful situations in your life where you have a deep need and use your addiction to self-medicate.

Whatever your addiction and whatever self-medication you choose, this is not God’s best for you. This is precisely what will cause you to lose instead of win and God wants you to be a winner. You’re more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ who loves you.

Walk in God’s Word, submit to His calling. Don’t let your visions and dreams be derailed like a train that has come off the tracks. Yes, the enemy does come to kill, steal and destroy But Jesus comes to give us life and life more abundantly. In abundant life, there is no place for addiction or destruction. It is a place where dreams and visions come to fruition, bringing love and fulfilment, joy and happiness.

Also read: How do you fill your God-shaped vacuum?

Guest Contributor

International Christian accepts voluntary guest contributions from writers who have a positive contribution to make, encouraging readers to live for God and fulfill the Great Commission of Jesus Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit in these challenging End Times.

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